Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!

In a previous life, I had gotten to be quite good at Latin. Years of neglect (not to mention no one to practice with, ahem) have made that a distant memory. Oh, how I wish I knew these MIT smartypants! I'm just copy-pasting below the dicta I kinda wanna remember. You know, for all those bumper-stickers I'm going to get! The first one should be the slogan for Philadelphia summers, imho. 

Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat. 

It's not the heat, it's the humidity.

Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare. 
I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris. 
If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.

Sona si Latine loqueris. 
Honk if you speak Latin.

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes 
If you can read this you're over-educated.

Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi. 
Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog.

Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes! 
If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!

Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo. 
Don't call me, I'll call you.

Fac ut gaudeam. 
Make my day.

Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam scio. 
Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway.

Re vera, potas bene. 
Say, you sure are drinking a lot.

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant! 
May barbarians invade your personal space!

Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant! 
May conspirators assassinate you in the mall!

Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant! 
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!

Radix lecti 
Couch potato

Quo signo nata es? 
What's your sign?

O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem! 
Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm!

Mellita, domi adsum. 
Honey, I'm home!

Ventis secundis, tene cursum. 
Go with the flow.

Totum dependeat. 
Let it all hang out.

Te precor dulcissime supplex! 
Pretty please with a cherry on top!

Magister Mundi sum! 
I am the Master of the Universe!

Nihil est--in vita priore ego imperator Romanus fui. 
That's nothing--in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor.

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! 
Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business.

Vescere bracis meis. 
Eat my shorts.

Sic faciunt omnes. 
Everyone is doing it.

Fac ut vivas. 
Get a life.

Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus! 
Let's all wear mood rings!